For You
by Permanent Rose
Summary: Rose's thoughts after the Titanic has sunk and she waits in the freezing water to be rescued. One shot.


A/N: After watching Titanic (for about the billionth time) I decided I just had to write something. Warning, it's very sad.

Disclaimer: (Oh how I hate these!) I don't own Titanic

For You

The night is dark. And cold. Never have I been so cold in my life. Ice crystals have formed in my hair. My body is so cold that I can no longer feel it, and I'm trembling all over.

I lie on my back, facing upward toward the heavens. So many stars. I never knew there were so many. It is silent now, I notice. Why? Why are they no longer screaming? Have they all given up? Why?

The stars shine down on me, the only light for miles and miles. They dot the velvet sky like millions of diamonds. So beautiful.

_Where to, Miss?_

_To the stars._

I smile. That is where I want to be, dancing among the stars, into your arms.

I close my eyes. I am so very tired. And so cold. I feel my body slipping, my spirit leaving. It will be warm there, I know. No more shivering in the darkness, no more waiting for a hopeless future. It will be so easy to go. No more pain, no more tears. So easy…

And then there is light. So bright. Why? The stars are not this brilliant.

I open my eyes, and all the pain, all the burdens, come back. My eyes follow the light until I am able to see its source. A boat.

At first I am confused. Why a boat? So cold, so cold. Boat.

_Jack. _

Jack.

"Jack," my voice is barely more than a hoarse whisper. I can hardly even hear myself.

"Jack," I try again, my voice slightly stronger. "Jack, there's a boat. Jack."

You're not responding, not moving.

"Jack, wake up. There's a boat. Jack." You do not awake.

And then it hits me. You're not going to wake up. You're gone. Gone to the stars. Gone to where there is no longer pain. Gone. Never coming back.

I want to go, too. I don't want to go back. I want to be with you. It is so cold that I am not even able to cry. Jack. No. Come back. I love you. I want to go, too. Come back. Jack, I love you.

I almost let go, almost rise to the stars. But no. Almost, but no.

_Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise. _

_I promise. _

_Never let go. _

"I'll never let go. I promise, Jack," I whisper, taking your limp hand in my own. I press it gently to my lips.

I love you. I won't let go. For you, Jack, I will go on. For you.

I watch your body slowly slip into the depths of the ocean. Shimmering, sinking, and then you are gone.

The boat is passing. Leaving. No.

"Come back," my weak voice is lost in the sea. "Come back."

I know I will not be able to make my voice heard. There has to be another way. For you.

It is leaving. Soon it will be gone. No. I have to keep going.

And then I remember. The man with the whistle. It seems like ages ago, centuries behind me. I plunge into the icy water. Cold. So cold. Colder than the air. Knives. Need out. Pain. Why?

I gather my bearings and begin to swim toward the man with the whistle. For you. Must push. For you.

It feels like I have swum the distance of the entire ocean before I reach the man. I am so cold. I cannot think. Body hurts. So cold. The whistle.

My hand is shaking so badly that I can barely hold onto the whistle. I fear I am going to drop it, but I manage to bring it to my frozen lips.

And then I blow it. It is faint at first, but then the shrill whistle carries through the night. I continue to blow. I do not stop. For you.

And then I am being lifted from the water. Strong arms around me, a warm blanket around my shoulders. Feels so good. So tired.

I lay back on the floor of the lifeboat. I made it, Jack. I survived Titanic. I only wish you were here with me. But I made it for you. For you, Jack.

And now the only thing left to do is wait. Wait...wait to die...wait to live...wait for an absolution that will never come.  
I close my eyes, not thinking of what will happen, not thinking of the future. Because I don't want to live that way. I want live each day as it passes. I am ready to let life take me where it does. I am ready. I am ready to live for today, not tomorrow, not in the past. But now. For you, Jack. I will live for you.

_For you._


End file.
